Prelude: I have a lot of writing to catch up on (my goal is one post a week). My last post put too much pressure on me to draft a magnum opus on "the development of the novel form", which lead to a five week hiatus. I've learned my lesson, I hope. I’m going to write shorter, focused posts to build momentum again.
As a book lover, it's impossible for me not to click on a "top 10" list. Perhaps you might enjoy seeing mine.
There is a difference between my top 10 books and the best 10 books. There are "better" or more technically proficient writings out there. However, these books have had the greatest impact on my life. That's why they're my "top".
My ranking of my top 7 books of all time:
The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls - I've read this memoir seven times from high school through my twenties. It follows the childhood shaped by a father who gambles their money away, a mother who enacts no rules, and siblings who together persist through moving, violence, and uncertainty. She shares a special relationship with her father, a failed dreamer. I have a similar relationship with my father. This was "my first literature love".
“We had some times, didn't we?'
'We did.'
'Never did build that Glass Castle.'
'No. But we had fun planning it.” - Jeannette Walls talking with her DadThe Death of Ivan Ilynch by Leo Tolstoy - I read this novella in my mid-twenties because my dad kept recommending Tolstoy to me. This short read captures a successful lawyer in his final moments. It forced me to ask what I wanted, and convinced me to pursue my own interests to avoid regret. It lead me to quit my engineering job at 27 years old to sell beauty products.
“Can it be that I have not lived as one ought?" suddenly came into his head. "But how not so, when I've done everything as it should be done?”
Night Train to Lisbon by Pascal Mercier - This is philosophy disguised as fiction. It's not the most well-written (being quite preachy), but it played the role of "advice from an older friend" when I was craving it. It made me think about regret, friendship, loneliness, and silence.
"Disappointment is considered bad. A thoughtless prejudice. How, if not through disappointment, should we discover what we have expected and hoped for? And where, if not in this discovery, should self-knowledge lie?"
Ecclesiastes (in the Bible) - I returned to this book throughout my twenties. Ecclesiastes is considered one of the biblical books of wisdom (alongside Proverbs, Psalms, and Song of Solomon), and I was seeking wisdom. It took the wind out of my sails, or, more positively, gave my ambitions some humility.
"Then I considered all that my hands had done... and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun."
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill - I read this book the year I graduated UCLA. It shaped how I set goals— I realized that goal setting was a deliberate process: Define, set, execute, and iterate. I've tried not to stray far from it since.
"The starting point of all achievement is DESIRE. Keep this constantly in mind. Weak desire brings weak results, just as a small fire makes a small amount of heat."
How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie - I am not naturally a very socially savvy person. I had become a matter-of-fact, emotionally closed-off engineer who hadn't let herself completely understand the word empathy. This book taught me that genuine interest in others builds connection. There was a Sandra before this book, and a different one after.
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
Born of This Land: My Story by Chung Ju Yung - This is the memoir of the South Korean entrepreneur who founded Hyundai, a conglomerate construction, automobile, and ship-making company. I read it at MIT in graduate school last year, at 29. Throughout this book is Mr. Yung's sense of purpose beyond himself— first helping his family, then helping transform his country, which at the time was poor and underdeveloped. I've been chasing that same sense of duty since.
"Thinking that anything is possible is the first rule of a successful person. If you doubt yourself, then you will only be able to accomplish as much as your doubts let you. If you think you can’t do something then you won’t be able to do it."
Well, there it is!
I read most of the books on this list before I was 24.
Did these books change me, or was it the age I read them?
As I enter my thirties, I hope I keep reading books that change me.
I want to stay someone who can be changed.
If, in ten years, I have a new set of life-changing books, I’d be satisfied.
Honorable Mentions (life-changing, but not at the level of the other seven):
Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle - This self help book is a reflection on "being present". Sounds tacky right? I didn't expect it to be too much of a hit either. But Eckhart, a German "pop philosopher" (famously friends with Oprah), shows what presence feels like. I found myself doing nothing but being in the now: Existing, looking, and observing. It changed my understanding of reality.
100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez - A book that changed how I see family and gender dynamics. It captures the roles—and pressures—of being a father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, daughter, and son. This work traces the lives of one family from rural Colombia across seven generations. It's a captivating angle.
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas - I think this is the best novel of all time. It's one of the best plots and character arcs I've read. Dumas plays with your emotions (revenge, love, desperation, hope, solitude) and leaves you astounded.